Hey!!
I know its been a while since I have wrote or even been on here. Where have I been?! Well its a long story...
I was contemplating whether to write this post or to just keep it to myself. The last post I wrote was about me getting sick a week before my competition and wasn't able to compete. If you are wondering if I did end up competing, the answer is yes! Although I didn't do as well as I had hoped due to my body being completely exhausted and in result did not respond to peak weak like it should have. I still had a great experience and learned a lot about myself. So where have I been the past 2 months? I guess this is where I get super personal so here its goes....
If you are reading this and you are a bikini competitor then you know first hands how hard post comp can be. You see yourself on comp day and think "I look amazing and I can so maintain this" but the reality is you CANT! Bikini competitors put their bodies through strict diets and a crazy amount of training. This is only meant to be performed for a short period of time, it is not a way of living long term. That being said after competition day I could already see myself falling into post comp. I prepared myself but it was tougher than I thought! I was scared to eat anything that was not on my extremely strict diet plan, the thought of simply eating an apple made me feel anxiety, Crazy right?!? How could I feel this way about eating something so healthy? Well as many of you may or may not know I've previously suffered from an eating disorder and unfortunetly I've recently fallen back into that. Eating disorders isn't talked about as much as it should. There are millions of women out there that suffer from eating disorders including young teens and in todays society its easy to fall into the eating disorder trap! I'm doing a lot better and although im still in the process of recovering I still have those random days where things aren't the greatest. I want to make this clear, I'm not sharing this because I want simpathy or attention im sharing this because I know what it feels like to struggle and to have a bad relationship with food. I want any women who is going through this or has a daughter or knows of anyone going through this to know that there is help out there and you/they are not alone!! A lot of people don't understand that eating disorders don't just magically appear and there is no one cause. There are a variety of factors that can trigger eating disorders, for me it was the end of a relationship combined with this fear of gaining weight after my fitness competition. A lot of those suffering from eating disorders are in denial but it is so important for those who are suffering to recognize they have a problem and to then find the triggers. Incase you are not familiar with eating disorders there are 3 types:
1. Anorexia which is also known as anorexia nervosa is when someone starves themselves because they are convinced they are overweight. For example if you are 10lbs (or even 5lbs) under your normal body weight and you are losing weight through not eating, you may be suffering from this type of eating disorder.
2. Bulimia or also known as bulimia nervosa is when someone consume large amounts of food in a short period of time and then clear their bodies of the extra calories by either vomiting, using laxatives or diuretics, taking enemas, or exercising obsessively. This one can be hard to detect because people with this disorder usually have a normal body weight, however it takes a huge toll on the body!
3. Binge eating disorder this is also characterized as compulsive overeating in which people consume huge amounts of food while feeling out of control and powerless to stop. This happens more than 3 times a month or more. This type of eating disorder can often be missed and not diagnosed because there are many people who overeat at times, but if someone is doing it often then that should be a sign. This is usually the first step that people with eating disorders go through and then leads to anorexia or bulimia.
I'm usually pretty private when it comes to my personal life BUT I think it's important to share and talk about this because a lot of people feel ashamed or embarrassed but the reality is so many women are suffering and we all need to pull together and help! If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me!! Shoot me an email and I will get back to you ASAP!
Have wonderful day Ladies
Stephanie XO
